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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29827686">I need more of that wake up calls</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Friends to Lovers, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Other, Short &amp; Sweet, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:41:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29827686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t know what to do with myself,” Wonwoo breathed out and groaned softly. “It feels like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know what to do about it.”</p><p>Mingyu hummed. “Sounds like you just have to fall in love. It’s been a while for you.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I need more of that wake up calls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wonwoo sighed and rose to rest on the edge of his bed. Gnawing on his bottom lip, his gaze fixated on Soonyoung, sleeping next to him, while his mind was absent. He didn’t know where his thoughts were; he wished he knew, for it would make his life so much easier.</p><p>On some days, Wonwoo got unhappy, and a tad lonely, even though his friends surrounded him, being affectionate, fun, happy. But it was their very company that drained him, their very spirit that caused him to grow quiet.  </p><p>Wonwoo found himself at a loss of words every time he pulled one member aside to tell them why he had been restrained, had trouble keeping up with their conversations, and wasn't able to take an active part. By the time he opened his mouth, wanting to explain himself so they wouldn't think he was ungrateful or moody, he fell silent. </p><p>What should he say if he didn’t know what was bothering him? So he stopped trying, swallowed the hard lump in his throat and forced a smile whenever he caught one of the members observing him with obvious concern. He was fine, the feeling of constant drowning would be gone soon. It always faded after three days and he was used to it. Sometimes you had to be alone to overcome your loneliness. This was what Wonwoo thought.</p><p>But this night, his loneliness was suffocating. Sitting there, glancing at Soonyoung with a blank expression, he had a hard time just breathing and calming his heart, which was picking up speed despite his strong resistance, despite his efforts to slow it down. Tonight, his body won over his mind and there was no use in being in denial that he had lost control.</p><p>With shaking hands he stood up and made his way to the bathroom. As he flipped the lights on, another heavy sigh left his chest, made his heart feel lighter, but the feeling of relief lasted not longer than a second until the weight, pressing down on his shoulders, returned. He checked his phone - about 3 am - before splashing some ice-cold water into his face and turning to the mirror, confronting himself with his reflection. </p><p>He didn’t look that bad, he thought. It took him by surprise, he had expected to look completely worn out. Even so, good was no term to fit his current exhausted state. His skin was paler than usual - and he was a very pale guy to begin with - so it did him no favor, even if the Korean society considered pale as beautiful. But a clear distinction had to be made between beautiful and sick, and he was definitely more on the sick side right now. On some spots, under his eyes or on his throat, he could even see the blue of his veins shimmer through his skin. Maybe ill, sick or exhausted wasn’t the right term after all. Ghost Idol would be the better option to choose.</p><p>He sighed, rubbed his eyes. Well, whatever, he wasn't a visual after all.</p><p>Propping his hands on the sink, he unconsciously continued biting his lip until it bled, looking chapped and ugly - even Seungkwan’s well-advertised lip balm would not be able to save his lips - and stopped as the loneliness crept deeper into his heart, coating it with a thin layer of burning frost. Wonwoo shuddered, pressed a hand against his tightening heart, slumping down to the floor as all strength left his knees. He just had to sit. Had to breathe. Had to wait for the feeling to ease, then he would be able to draw in deep breaths without the constant impulse of choking on his own air as he did so. That’s how he coped with it. That’s how he had made it through so many times already, that his fingers weren’t enough if he wanted to count it, if he, one day, would be brave enough to explain his miserable state to his friends.</p><p>The cold floor was hard against his lean body, the thin layer of fabric a joke and didn’t do much to keep him warm. But the cold creeping through his bones controlled the burning feeling of anxiety inside his stomach, so it was of help. Somehow.</p><p>His phone buzzed. </p><p>Hesitating, his fingers reached for the phone on the floor, trembling, knowing that he shouldn’t pick up considering the miserable state he was in. But upon reading the name flashing on the display, a soothing warmth flooded his body and melted the ice constricting his heart. His lips even curled into a faint smile, barely visible, but Wonwoo could feel the change all over his body. He would be safed today. He would be by the time the familiar voice reached his ears and assured him that he was being loved and cared for.</p><p>Wonwoo needed someone to tell him this truth at times, needed someone who would tell him that he had no reason to feel as if he were replaceable, if he wasn’t able to believe in it himself. His savoir, over and over again - had been Mingyu. And so, he took the call.</p><p>“It’s late. You should be fast asleep, Gyu.” His voice was shaking and he grabbed onto the phone so tight, the edges cut into his palm, sharply.</p><p>“So should you.” </p><p>Wonwoo' fears melted under the deep voice, his shoulders relaxed and he shoved sweaty hair out of his eyes. He shouldn’t be afraid to look at the world surrounding him.</p><p>“Nightmares?” Wonwoo asked. </p><p>“Nah, I am just restless." A pause. "Your voice sounds strange, Won. What’s bothering you?” Mingyu, always so calm, gente, composed. A pillar and not only because he was as tall as an oak tree. They hadn’t seen each other in a week because Mingyu had some time off and was at his parent's house. Wonwoo had missed him every single day, but he would never admit it to Mingyu.</p><p>“I just felt lonely. Stupid thing to say if I’m surrounded by my friends day and night. In fact, I should be grateful,” he let out the secret that he had locked into a dark chamber in his soul. But he knew that Mingyu wouldn’t laugh at him and take every word as serious as his own troubles.</p><p>Wonwoo sighed, tugged at one of his long black strands before lying down onto the floor, looking up at the ceiling. </p><p>“You know,” Mingyu paused for a moment and Wonwoo heard him breathing, a calming sound, “at night, all hearts get a little lonely.”</p><p>“I don’t know what to do with myself,” Wonwoo breathed out and groaned softly. “It feels like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know what to do about it.”</p><p>Mingyu hummed. “This sounds like you just have to fall in love. It’s been a while for you.”</p><p>Mingyu’s words sent Wonwoo frowning at some dark stain on the bathroom lights. Maybe a dead fly.</p><p>“You know the life we lead,” he answered. “I can’t afford to fall in love.”</p><p>He earned an amused chuckle and Wonwoo’s frown intensified.</p><p>“Oh Wonwoo my dear, what a horrible thing to say. Love must be one hell of an important feeling if music centers around broken hearts and love confessions and passionate sex.”</p><p>“Can’t miss what you never had,” Wonwoo deadpanned.</p><p>“That’s torture.”</p><p>Wonwoo snorted. “No, my friend,” he said, “it’s called better safe than sorry.”</p><p>“Want a kiss?”</p><p>“Was that an offer?”</p><p>“I mean…” Mingyu broke off. “You can either answer with a no or a yes. I’ll accept both.”</p><p>“I decline.”</p><p>“That hurt my pride. Do you want…”</p><p>Wonwoo sat up, bit his lip, tasted blood. “No,” he huffed. “No, if I don’t want to kiss you then there’s no way that I will sleep with you.”</p><p>Again, he heard Mingyu’s soft laugh.</p><p>“You can read my thoughts. Maybe you are in love with me, you’re just not aware of it.”</p><p>“We’re buddies.”</p><p>“My heart is bleeding Won.”</p><p>“So is my patience with you and my mind is bleeding from all these horrible images in my head.”</p><p>“Can’t be, my dick is pretty…”</p><p>Wonwoo cut him off and raised a hand. “Don’t, just … don’t.”</p><p>“Just so you know, there are a lot of people who would pay me tons of cash to get a quick glimpse of my impressive, naked body.”</p><p>“What a blessing.” Wonwoo couldn’t help but smirk while giving an eye roll.</p><p>“I’m a god ” Mingyu declared.</p><p>“Of self-importance.”</p><p>A pause. Then Mingyu spoke up.</p><p>“You feeling better?”</p><p>“Yeah, a little. Thank you.”</p><p>“That’s all I needed to hear.”</p>
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